March Mascot Melee™: Round Two of the MLB Bracket

Even Vlad Guerrero knows not to mess with Pittsburgh's Pirate Parrot.

By Joe Parello (@HerewegoJoe)

I'm sure you've all been enthralled by the upsets, buzzer beaters and bracket busters of the NCAA Tournament.

But, even with all that, I know what you've really been looking forward to is the return of March Mascot Melee™. Well, have no fear, because we're bringing you the second round of all of our brackets today and tomorrow, then moving onto the Suite 16 later this week.

Last we left our baseball mascots, this is how our bracket looked.

Click to enlarge

Obviously, that sets up some fantastic round two showdowns. Let's take a look.

1. San Francisco Giants vs 8. Colorado Rockies

The Rockies are an interesting case, because an entire mountain range is a pretty powerful thing. Still, giants are mobile forces of nature, that have been known to inhabit mountain ranges with little trouble. The top seed rolls.

Winner: Giants

13. Seattle Mariners vs 5. Pittsburgh Pirates

What is a pirate, other than a really bad ass, thieving mariner? So, you'd think the pirates win this thing going away, but once again I'm going to turn to Hollywood.

Just like I trusted movies to push the mariners past the tigers ("Life of Pi"), I'm going to trust the movie (and actual story of) "Captain Phillips." Pittsburgh may not have had Somalians in mind when they named their team, but swash buckling Europeans aren't exactly patrolling the waters of the Caribbean anymore.

So, the Hollywood scores another win for the Mariners.

Oh, what am I saying, those pirates were kicking the captain's butt until the Seals showed up.

Winner: Pirates

2. Los Angeles Angels vs 10. Miami Marlins

This one's pretty much a no-brainer. Angels crush Marlins to make the Suite 16.

Winner: Angels

3. Kansas City Royals vs 6. Texas Rangers

A group of royals would certainly have some power, but folks in Texas don't take too kindly to monarchs or people telling them what to do. This rebellious group of rangers arm themselves to fight tyranny.

Don't mess with Texas!

Winner: Rangers

Let's take a look at our updated bracket.

Click to enlarge